


the adventures of the tiny canadian voldemort

by jalfie5ever



Category: The Next Step
Genre: Dancing, Decapitation, Lemur, Swans, Theft, alleyways, bag of shame, dance, eye washing, violent dancing, weather phenomenon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-08-03
Packaged: 2018-11-22 15:14:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11382810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jalfie5ever/pseuds/jalfie5ever
Summary: after piper had her hair and nose burned off by james and alfies angry dancing, she realised what she must do.





	1. the beginning

piper stared into the mirror for the 17th time in 54 seconds. her hair was gone. she was bald. but that wasnt the worst part- her nose had ceased to exist, burnt off by one of those red hot lazers from that time james and alfie were angry dancing. she couldn't believe it. she used to be beautiful (according to her and her mum that one time 6 years ago), but now she was bald and wrinkly with no nose. a tiny canadian voldemort. surprisingly, it took her just 3.2 hours to accept who she now was, and she knew what she must do. she was the tiny canadian voldemort, and though she couldnt do magic, she could dance.

piper walked along the street, a bag of shame covering her hideous and wrinkly face. a hat and a strap on nose wouldve been better but she is not that clever. suddenly, she heard shouting from down a stereotypical dark alleyway thats probably home to a gang of cats or angry swans. she whipped off the bag and danced her way down the street with immense speed, and looked into the alley to see amanda being beaten up by one of the angry swans, while the other plump waterfowl surrounded them, honking in delight. 'not again' piper thought and danced down the alley. then, she poked the swan that was attacking amanda and it stopped and turned around. silence fell, except for a single cricket. only it wasnt a cricket it was noah being weird behind the bin bags. the swan honked in anger but piper knew what she had to do, for she is the tiny canadian voldemort, and she can dance. with the speed of 54 trains being driven by orangutans she pirouetted, which decapitated the swan, and like a tornado she moved through the crowd of ugly birds and killed them all, until the alley was full of swan corpses. and those were her first kills, but certainly not her last.

to be continued.


	2. fish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> an unusual weather phenomenon has struck the town. can piper save the day again?

piper yawned. she hadn't managed to get much sleep because of the noise that had came from her brothers room. she glared at alfie as she poured some milk into an empty bowl before carefully placing wheat hoops onto the surface of the white liquid. then she remembered she doesnt even like wheat hoops and threw it all down the sink and left the house. she no longer needed the bag of shame, this is who she is now, and that wont ever change, so she has to accept it. she was on her way to The Next Step™ when she heard a wet splat from behind her. she turned around, and on the ground was a fairly large and silver fish, and it was the first of many. soon the fish were covering the streets, raining from the sky in the thousands. and as soon as it started, it was over. silence. BUT THEN OH GOSH THE FISH GOT UP ONTO THEIR HIND FINS AND BEGAN TO W A L K. EVERYONE IS SCREAMING. ITS COMPLETE CHAOS. H ELP.  
'reports are coming in of walking fish all over the streets of the town'  
piper knew what she had to do. she was the only one who could end this, for she is the tiny canadian voldemort, and the fate of the town rests on her shoulders. she began to dance, and with each move she knocked out the fish with bone crushing force. the fish had no defence against her spins and jumps and pirouettes and whatever other dance moves there are and soon there was just one left, though this one was bigger, and suddenly it spoke in a deep and watery voice: 'we will be back' and then piper pirouetted and sliced its head off and let its fish guts spill out onto the pavement. well, the fish were all dead now which was good, but the streets were now very full of fish guts and piper wasnt very keen on cleaning those up so she quickly dashed back home and cleaned her smelly feet (though it had little effect, her feet still smelled of fish for months afterwards). she thought about what the fish had said to her, i mean, a fish that could speak? and will they ever be back? and if they are back, will they have improved their attack?  
only time will tell.  
to be continued.


	3. ring tailed hoe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> criminals and sex????? nut.

piper was walking home after a busy day at The Next Step™ studio when she came across a board covered in posters. none of them stood out much, a poster for lice removal  cream, an ad for some chickens that are going cheap... but then, under the mass of all the other bits of old faded paper  she saw a wanted poster. 'do they actually have those in the real world?' she thought to herself, and looked a little closer.  an image of a well dressed lemur carrying some kind of expensive  purse was in the centre  of the poster, with information  below it. she began to read. "have you seen this lemur? often seen stealing valuables from homes and cars, a master thief. reward: 5 peanuts"  
piper began to wonder. she could catch this criminal, right? i mean, theres nothing  the tiny  canadian voldemort cant do. also she loves peanuts. mmmmmm. delicious nut. anyway she continued to walk, but kept her eyes peeled for any lemurs. she reached her house, took a last look around at the street and went inside OH GOD JAMES DO YOU TWO REALLY HAVE TO DO THAT ON THE KITCHEN TABLE and immediately walked back out again and went to the garden tap and sat with her eyes under the water for a whole hour however those images did not go away. no way she was going back in there, so she went to her shed and sat in the bed she had made for situations like this. her bald head glistened in the moonlight and she listened to the sounds of the night. the hoots of owls, the chirping of crickets... she wished that her life was back to how it was before her hair and nose had been burnt off. sure, saving people from animal threats was good, but it was so tiring. she sighed, and began to fall asleep, when suddenly a scream came from inside the house. she looked through the windows and could see a silhouette of a small creature- the lemur? she quickly dashed over there and she was right, it was the lemur! it was threatening alfie and james (who were no longer naked) with a broom while it rushed around the house, collecting an valuables it could find. "STOP, YOU RING TAILED HOE" shouted piper, and she backflipped over to it and the kicked it over, its treasures spilling onto the floor. then she got a box and trapped the lemur inside it and pirouetted down to the police station. "id like the nuts now please" she said and they handed her the 5 peanuts which she ate immediately, shells and all. "mmmm. delicious nut." the end


End file.
